so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
