he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize