Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Randomize
