you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
