she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
