Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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