she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
There was a lot of him and a little penis
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
