You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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