I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Who wears a wallet chain?!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
