Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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