ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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