like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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