i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize