nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
