Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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