After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
