it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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