At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need water and some morals
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
