my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You made out with two different species that night
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
