so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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