also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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