I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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