this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
