Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
