we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
