Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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