You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
