Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
