I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
