I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
