i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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