I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
try to milk me bitch
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
