Who did Billy Mays play for?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
