haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
