just come out here and I will go home with you...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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