he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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