Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
