Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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