She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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