the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
