Just fell off a train. Bad.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
