I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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