Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
