I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
