and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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