So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
