I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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