fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
