Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize