loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
