I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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