I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
