How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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