I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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