he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
