I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Acid is not a monday night drug
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
