What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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