i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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