I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
