Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
