butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
