Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
